14 Apr 2009
The She-Hulk fans are not women. I know, they put “she” in front of “Hulk” and everyone thinks “oh that must be Hulk for girls.” Well it’s not. It’s Hulk for those weird, pasty white guys who used to have posters of Chyna on the wall and who will still totally insist that a woman isn’t a woman unless she can crush you between her pecs.
That’s really the only audience for a movie based on She-Hulk, so it’s pretty damn near impossible to imagine anyone ever making one. Yet rumors persist. Comic Book Movie picked up one today from a site called bild where they claim that not only is a She-Hulk move being made, Megan Fox is being “lined up” to star in it. What does lined up mean? Probably totally fake, that’s what.
Their source goes on to claim that the “She-Hulk” comics are so wildly popular that it’s only natural a movie happens. I think we adequately covered that fallacy in our opening paragraph. They further claim that their plan is to make her sexier, and even more savage. Sexier would definitely help. I mean if you just get Megan Fox and spray paint her green then maybe I’d be interested. But then she’s not really a “Hulk” is she? She’s more of an out of control Orion slave girl.